Marrying a Non-Jew
A Jewish businessman warned his son against marrying a non-Jew. The son replied, "But she's converting to Judaism." "It doesn't matter," the old man said. "A shiksa will cause problems." The son persisted.After the wedding, the father called the son, who was in business with him, and asked him why he was not at work. "It's Shabbos," the son replied.The father was surprised: "But we always work on Saturday. It's our busiest day.""I won't work anymore on Saturday," the son insisted, "because my wife wants us to go to shul on Shabbos.""See," the father said. "I told you marrying a non-Jew would cause problems."
or Shabbos in Ashkenazic pronunciation), is the weekly day of rest in Judaism. It is observed, from before sundown on Friday until after nightfall on Saturday
Definitions of 'shul'
Judaism A synagogue
Monday, May 29, 2006
Sunday, May 28, 2006
I love cowboys:)
smile for today:)
Cowboy in Church
One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd still feed him."So the minister began his sermon.One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."
Cowboy in Church
One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd still feed him."So the minister began his sermon.One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."
Saturday, May 27, 2006
sentional saturday
The Poker Game
A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker when the police raided the game. Turning to the priest, the lead police officer said, "Father Murphy, were you gambling?" Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispered, "Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do." To the police officer, he then said, "No, officer; I was not gambling." The officer then asked the minister, "Pastor Johnson, were you gambling?"Again, after an appeal to heaven, the minister replied, "No, officer; I was not gambling." Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asked, "Rabbi Goldstein, were you gambling?" Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replied, "With whom?"
A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker when the police raided the game. Turning to the priest, the lead police officer said, "Father Murphy, were you gambling?" Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispered, "Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do." To the police officer, he then said, "No, officer; I was not gambling." The officer then asked the minister, "Pastor Johnson, were you gambling?"Again, after an appeal to heaven, the minister replied, "No, officer; I was not gambling." Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asked, "Rabbi Goldstein, were you gambling?" Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replied, "With whom?"
Friday, May 26, 2006
Happy Friday:)
Happy Friday, the long weekend is here:)
Summer is here:)
Glory Be Unto the Father
Walking by, a minister saw his 5-year-old son and playmates find a dead robin.Feeling that proper burial should be performed, the children had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn... and into the hole he gooooes."
Summer is here:)
Glory Be Unto the Father
Walking by, a minister saw his 5-year-old son and playmates find a dead robin.Feeling that proper burial should be performed, the children had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn... and into the hole he gooooes."
Terrific Tuesday:)
Saving a Bear
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first."Wellll," he says, in a fine Irish brouge, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to rread to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."They both look down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! You don't know what tough is until you try to circumcise one of those creatures."
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first."Wellll," he says, in a fine Irish brouge, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to rread to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."They both look down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! You don't know what tough is until you try to circumcise one of those creatures."
Terrific tuesday
Saving a Bear
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first."Wellll," he says, in a fine Irish brouge, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to rread to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."They both look down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! You don't know what tough is until you try to circumcise one of those creatures."
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first."Wellll," he says, in a fine Irish brouge, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to rread to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."They both look down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! You don't know what tough is until you try to circumcise one of those creatures."
Thursday, May 25, 2006
prayer
Sometimes we pray very hard for something, then you get it, then things change, so please becareful what you pray for , you just might get it:)
Saved By Buddha Nature
A Buddhist and a Hindu went skydiving together. As they prepared to jump, the Buddhist said, "If anything should go wrong--" "Nothing will go wrong," said the Hindu. "But if it does, God will save me." "Not a chance," the Buddhist said, "Because there IS no God. There is only your Essential Buddha Nature." The Hindu scoffed at this.The pair leaped out of the plane. Halfway down, they discovered that their parachutes wouldn't open."My God!" screamed the Hindu. "Save me!" But he continued to plummet. Just then he heard the Buddhist say, "I call upon my own Essential Buddha Nature." Immediately, a giant hand came out of nowhere, cradled the Buddhist in its palm and gently began lowering him to earth. The terrified Hindu too cried out, "I call upon my own Essential Buddha Nature!" With that, another giant hand appeared, cradled the Hindu in its palm and gently lowered him to earth. "Whew! That was a close one!" said the Hindu, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Thank God!" whereupon the giant hand turned over.
Saved By Buddha Nature
A Buddhist and a Hindu went skydiving together. As they prepared to jump, the Buddhist said, "If anything should go wrong--" "Nothing will go wrong," said the Hindu. "But if it does, God will save me." "Not a chance," the Buddhist said, "Because there IS no God. There is only your Essential Buddha Nature." The Hindu scoffed at this.The pair leaped out of the plane. Halfway down, they discovered that their parachutes wouldn't open."My God!" screamed the Hindu. "Save me!" But he continued to plummet. Just then he heard the Buddhist say, "I call upon my own Essential Buddha Nature." Immediately, a giant hand came out of nowhere, cradled the Buddhist in its palm and gently began lowering him to earth. The terrified Hindu too cried out, "I call upon my own Essential Buddha Nature!" With that, another giant hand appeared, cradled the Hindu in its palm and gently lowered him to earth. "Whew! That was a close one!" said the Hindu, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Thank God!" whereupon the giant hand turned over.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Happy Mid week:)
Today, I had my diner visit, yes a bacon and egg sandwich on a roll, only northeners would appreciate this:)
Where Was Jesus Born?
A lifelong unchurched man suddenly develops a vague religious urge and decides to join a church--any church. So he sets out to find one.His first stop is a Roman Catholic church where he asks what he has to do to join. The priest mentions diligent study and the affirmation of the Nicene and Apostles' Creeds, then--just to see how much the man knows--asks him where Jesus was born. "Pittsburgh," he answers. "Get out!" cries the shocked priest.Next stop is a Southern Baptist church where the seeker is told he would have to learn Bible verses, swear belief in the Nicene and Apostles' creeds, swear off booze, and be baptized ("By immersion, not just some sissy sprinklin'"). The Baptist preacher then, to see how much this man knows, asks him where Jesus was born. "Philadelphia?" he asks tentatively (once bitten, twice shy). "Get out, you heathen!" yells the preacher.Our perplexed protagonist finally walks into a Unitarian church where he is told all he has to do is sign a membership card. "You mean I don't have to renounce anything, swear to anything, or be dunked in anything?" "That's right. We have no special tests for membership, no dogma. We support total individual freedom of belief." "Then I'll join! But tell me--where was Jesus born?" "Why, Bethlehem, of course." The man's face lights up. "I knew it was some place in Pennsylvania!"
Where Was Jesus Born?
A lifelong unchurched man suddenly develops a vague religious urge and decides to join a church--any church. So he sets out to find one.His first stop is a Roman Catholic church where he asks what he has to do to join. The priest mentions diligent study and the affirmation of the Nicene and Apostles' Creeds, then--just to see how much the man knows--asks him where Jesus was born. "Pittsburgh," he answers. "Get out!" cries the shocked priest.Next stop is a Southern Baptist church where the seeker is told he would have to learn Bible verses, swear belief in the Nicene and Apostles' creeds, swear off booze, and be baptized ("By immersion, not just some sissy sprinklin'"). The Baptist preacher then, to see how much this man knows, asks him where Jesus was born. "Philadelphia?" he asks tentatively (once bitten, twice shy). "Get out, you heathen!" yells the preacher.Our perplexed protagonist finally walks into a Unitarian church where he is told all he has to do is sign a membership card. "You mean I don't have to renounce anything, swear to anything, or be dunked in anything?" "That's right. We have no special tests for membership, no dogma. We support total individual freedom of belief." "Then I'll join! But tell me--where was Jesus born?" "Why, Bethlehem, of course." The man's face lights up. "I knew it was some place in Pennsylvania!"
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Terrific Tuesday:)
Day two, in Jersey, days are full of time, do you know sometimes a day is very long that was yesterday, we got almost everything done, now what do we do, well we will find something to do, I think I'll do some paperwork today or maybe just watch springer:) well, I hope you are all having a great day, because I sure will
Cindy Crawford's Afterlife
Three guys -- Carl, Bob and Brett -- found themselves in Hell, a little confused about their present situation. They were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4", dirty, and you could smell her even over the Brimstone.The voice of the Devil was heard, "Brett, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Brett was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment. This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped when a second door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in thick black hair, and flies circled her. The voice of the Devil was heard, "Carl, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Carl, like Brett, was whisked off.Bob, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the worst when the third door opened. And as the door inched open, he strained to see the figure of ... Cindy Crawford. Delighted, Bob jumped up, taking in the sight of this beautiful woman, dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying:"Cindy, you have sinned."
Cindy Crawford's Afterlife
Three guys -- Carl, Bob and Brett -- found themselves in Hell, a little confused about their present situation. They were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4", dirty, and you could smell her even over the Brimstone.The voice of the Devil was heard, "Brett, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Brett was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment. This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped when a second door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in thick black hair, and flies circled her. The voice of the Devil was heard, "Carl, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Carl, like Brett, was whisked off.Bob, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the worst when the third door opened. And as the door inched open, he strained to see the figure of ... Cindy Crawford. Delighted, Bob jumped up, taking in the sight of this beautiful woman, dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying:"Cindy, you have sinned."
Monday, May 22, 2006
Happy Monday:)
Hello again
well I'm in Jersey, yes BelenaJerseycity is home, ok so I had forgotten that it is 50 degrees here, so it's cold, well, that the perks of living here. It's pass 8 and no one is awake, is there a time change here, well, I guess when you don't have kids you don't have to get up, that's a tip I'll remember tomorrow morning. I will watch the tube for a while, this is the relaxation I was talking about.
have a blest day and remember to smile:)
The Door Stopper
Two church members were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open the two church members at the door frustrated her. She stormed back to the door and flung it shut.But the door still didn't close. Furious, she grabbed the door with two hands and shoved it as hard as she could. But again, the door wouldn't shut.Convinced one of these rude church members was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would really teach them a lesson. Just then, one of the church members said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat
well I'm in Jersey, yes BelenaJerseycity is home, ok so I had forgotten that it is 50 degrees here, so it's cold, well, that the perks of living here. It's pass 8 and no one is awake, is there a time change here, well, I guess when you don't have kids you don't have to get up, that's a tip I'll remember tomorrow morning. I will watch the tube for a while, this is the relaxation I was talking about.
have a blest day and remember to smile:)
The Door Stopper
Two church members were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open the two church members at the door frustrated her. She stormed back to the door and flung it shut.But the door still didn't close. Furious, she grabbed the door with two hands and shoved it as hard as she could. But again, the door wouldn't shut.Convinced one of these rude church members was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would really teach them a lesson. Just then, one of the church members said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Happy Mid Week
wow!! How does a day go by without blogging:) I'll tell you how, Life happens:)
both grades are in for ASU, Finals were great, studding does pay off, "A" for both:)
now summer is here:) one more day until the end of school (Work) then relaxation can begin:)
Enjoy your day, I plan on having a great one:)
First Time at a Unitarian
ServiceA man goes to a Unitarian Universalist service for the first time, and later is asked what he thought of it. "Darndest church I ever went to," he replies, "the only time I heard the name of Jesus Christ was when the janitor fell down the stairs."
both grades are in for ASU, Finals were great, studding does pay off, "A" for both:)
now summer is here:) one more day until the end of school (Work) then relaxation can begin:)
Enjoy your day, I plan on having a great one:)
First Time at a Unitarian
ServiceA man goes to a Unitarian Universalist service for the first time, and later is asked what he thought of it. "Darndest church I ever went to," he replies, "the only time I heard the name of Jesus Christ was when the janitor fell down the stairs."
Friday, May 12, 2006
A fabulous week:)
I have not posted in a few days, life has been very busy and crazy: crazy but good:)
first thing, baby boy number two, has been accepted into Georgetown, ( an answered prayer for him). Finals are over, so far I know I got an A in political science final:) a great answered prayer. I just picked up my first scholarship , for continuing education. FGSC awarded ten scholarship nine to high school seniors and one to the continuing education spouse, I am very excited that I have been blessed to receive this scholarship for next semester:)
remember that dreams can come true, but only after you take the first step:)
What I Learned From NoahEverything I need to know,
I learned from Noah's Ark...
ONE: Don't miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
first thing, baby boy number two, has been accepted into Georgetown, ( an answered prayer for him). Finals are over, so far I know I got an A in political science final:) a great answered prayer. I just picked up my first scholarship , for continuing education. FGSC awarded ten scholarship nine to high school seniors and one to the continuing education spouse, I am very excited that I have been blessed to receive this scholarship for next semester:)
remember that dreams can come true, but only after you take the first step:)
What I Learned From NoahEverything I need to know,
I learned from Noah's Ark...
ONE: Don't miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Sunday, May 07, 2006
You Are Cindy Brady
take the test
What brady are you Quiz:)
http://www.blogthings.com/whatbradyareyouquiz/
Warm hearted and sweet, you have a childlike innocence that lets you see the good in everyone.But you're also a bit of a baby. You stick your nose where it doesn't belong... and cry when you get caught!
You Are Cindy Brady
I don't totally agree with my results, but what can I say;)
Saturday, May 06, 2006
This is a real story
KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws
and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows
rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned
and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now
open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and
Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding
her brains in for over an hour.
The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the
doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her
head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of
bread dough on the back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a
loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her
in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it
was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out,
but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an
hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.
Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws
and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows
rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned
and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now
open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and
Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding
her brains in for over an hour.
The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the
doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her
head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of
bread dough on the back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a
loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her
in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it
was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out,
but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an
hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.
Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Where do you think you will go?
Have you ever thought of where you will spend eternity?
God, help me to realize that where ever I end up , I have the company of good friends:)
Trying to Take It With You
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan was that when he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife had gone up in the attic to clean. Coming upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash she exclaimed, "Oh, that darned old fool, I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
God, help me to realize that where ever I end up , I have the company of good friends:)
Trying to Take It With You
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan was that when he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife had gone up in the attic to clean. Coming upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash she exclaimed, "Oh, that darned old fool, I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
let's watch the holy people
Sometimes we watch the holy people around us, and we think we can't ever be as holy as them, then you hear a joke like this and it brings you home.
have you ever had that thought?
this joke made me think of that again.
pompous minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas.
After the flight was airborne, the flight attendant came to get drink orders.
"I'll have a whiskey on the rocks, if that's okay, ma'am," said the cowboy.
The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
"I'd rather be savagely raped a dozen brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips,
" he replied disgustedly.The cowboy then handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said, "Sorry, ma'am, I didn't know we had a choice."
have you ever had that thought?
this joke made me think of that again.
pompous minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas.
After the flight was airborne, the flight attendant came to get drink orders.
"I'll have a whiskey on the rocks, if that's okay, ma'am," said the cowboy.
The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
"I'd rather be savagely raped a dozen brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips,
" he replied disgustedly.The cowboy then handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said, "Sorry, ma'am, I didn't know we had a choice."
Monday, May 01, 2006
Friday event
We are proud to announce that our baby boy is now a LT in the United States Army.
He has taken the next step to get ready for Med School, His dad swore him in, a proud family moment:)
Thank you God for the Many Blessings:)
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