religious people are funny

A Rabbi, A Hindu and a LawyerA Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car expired. They set out to find help, and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to sleep in the barn with the animals. The three quickly agreed. The Rabbi said he would sleep in the barn and let the other two have the beds. Ten minutes after the Rabbi left, there was a knock on the bedroom door. The Rabbi entered exclaiming, "I can't sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there. It's against my religion to sleep in the same room with a pig!" The Hindu said HE would sleep in the barn, as he had no religious problem with pigs. However, about five minutes later, the Hindu burst through the bedroom door saying, "There's a COW in the barn! I can't sleep in the same room as a cow! It's against my religion!"The lawyer, anxious to get to sleep, said he'd go to the barn, as he had no problem sleeping with animals. In two minutes, the bedroom door burst open and the pig and the cow entered...

smile with me:)

Even in death we rejoice:)
I know this sounds strange, but today I had to write something for two people who passed away this month:( They were wonderful women, doing Gods work in very different ways.
will they remember us after we are gone:)
here is what I wrote about them:) tell someone you appreciate them today because they might be gone before you know it.

Smile with Me

Do not think of me and forever weep.

I want you to know; I do not sleep.
I am the chilly wind that blows.

I am the diamond shine on the new snow.
I am the sunlight on Fort Gordon’s trees.

I am the gentle summer breeze.

I am the swift uplifting rush
I am laughter during your busy morning meetings
I am those quiet moments that you fight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not miss me and cry.

I am not gone, Just look around
I have left you many signs
Look inside this club
And see my dreams, and love in action

Written for
Monnie Castro
&
Barbara Leatherwood
By
Gail
2006

please smile today:)

please don't take offense if you are blonde, or pretend to be blonde:)

Flying With A Blonde
There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer.
A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though.
One of the blondes says, "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day

Tip of the week

As I prepare my research paper for one of my classes, I decided to share a tip a week about things of interest for some of you:)
this is a tip for retreats:)
when you are planning your retreat make sure you have two or three adults as chaperones:)
I know you know this but these three people have a very special job:)
they come to the retreat at about 10PM and they leave at 6AM, they stay up all night and watch the dorms while your team sleeps:), this is a short term commitment for someone who has small children or very busy but would love to help. you can use us some of your parents who can only help for a few hours:) Enjoy your new found sleep hours during your retreats:)

happy Sunday:)

Hello everyone,
I hope you are having a great Sunday:)
young Redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible", says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"No, " she says, " I'm actually a Blonde."
"I thought so, the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."

I Told you:)

My biggest smile today:)
take time to watch Joyce Myers today:)
and you will see what I mean:)

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so
that it will be even more fruitful."

Happy Valentine day

guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.
He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

Smilemaker poll

Hello fellow smile friends

I need some assistance with my new catch phrase:)
yes in my real life I need a catch phrase which will help people know when I am ready to walk away:)
Here is what I mean, I had a FRIEND (I use the word friend to protect her ignorance) I'll use Lisa as the name(QBF just using this name instead of Kathy) She calls me and wants to let me know that she has been thinking about me and has missed seeing me around:) then she reassures me that when people talk about me she always defends me:) ok, here is when I said nothing and did not even ask who or what was saying something about me:) this ended her side of the conversation and of course she said her good byes and hung up:) Now what would you have done or said:) here is where my catch phrase comes in:)

things I will say if I get into another conversation like this:)

You know Lisa, you are full of crap and don't call me anymore:)

You know Lisa, back off and tell you friend they suck:)

or what I would have said in the state of jersey
listen bitch, if you don't walk away now I will jack you up right now:)

here is my favorite:)
well Lisa, I appreciate your concern but I think the dog is barking and I better get to that dog:0 let me call you back;)

I am taking suggestions for my new catch phrase for the next couples of days
thanks for the help:)

small smiles for you today:)

tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes froze the end of my nose.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Why is the word big so little and the word little so big?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How do I set my laser printer on stun? How is it possible to have a civil war?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?


keep smiling and have a blest day:)

letting your children go:)

When you first give life to a child you realize wow:)
I have so much to do for this child,
at first the task seem endless, then they become effortless,
as you watch the child grow you enjoy the first steps.
The first fall, hurts both of you the same .
When they laugh you laugh, when they weep , you do too ,as you wipe their tears,
after a few years you realize that your baby will soon be leaving you ,
you know before they do , that it's time for them to go,
Why let them go?
If you keep them with you,you will stop their growth, you will impose your future on them.
So you knowl it in you heart and you grow in excitement as you know that letting them go is the right thing to do for all involved.
so you wrap them up in a hug and you say good bye:)
as you walk away, you feel several emotions:)

pride:)
anticipation:)
a feeling of total completion:)

At this point you realize that God's plan for you was to nurture and help them grow and most of all to give them to the world so they can continue to bless the world with the gifts they acquired from you.
So as you read this , you wonder what child I am speaking about?
Well, I speak of TEC, a program which came to August by way of Seoul Korea , I began the process in a far away land ten years ago and I complete the program in Augusta. so as I watch this child move forward, I thank God for giving me the opportunity to help bring to life a great program and thank God for providing the people to continue TEC.
I can remember Fr.Bob use to call me Mama TEC, now I feel like Grandma TEC.
God Bless ,
Keep the TEC alive
pray for TEC 8 daily:)

almost there:)

Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do.
Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors.
Try to be better than yourself.--
William Faulkner

happy midweek

At a time when opportunism is everything,
when hope seems lost, when everything boils down to a cynical business deal, we must find the courage to dream.
To reclaim romance. The romance of believing in justice, in freedom, and in dignity. For everybody.--Arundhati Roy (The Ordinary Person's Guide to Empire)